T

I’ve been thinking about going on T (testosterone), but I’m afraid that it may negatively effect my singing voice. I’m very happy about my singing voice, and how far it’s come since I started. I finally found my vibrato, I just started being able to use my head voice, I can actually sing in key, blah blah blah. When a year ago, I really couldn’t sing, and I just talked my lyrics while playing… and struggled. I don’t want to go back to that, and it’s important to me to be able to sing. I don’t want to give it up.

Being 16, and identifying as male is getting harder to do. I don’t pass as well as I did a year ago because of my age, and probably because of my hair growing long. I’m not going to cut my hair to pass either, so please don’t say “you should just cut your hair.” I like the way my hair is right now, I’ve always wanted long hair, I’ve always envied boys with long hair, and quite frankly I love the way it feels hitting my neck on stage… so no, I’m not cutting it. But passing is harder. All my cis-male friends have hit puberty, even my little brother has hit puberty. And it’s awkward for me. I have a high pitched speaking voice for a dude, my face has no facial hair, and as much as I work out I’m still not passing well.

One week I feel like ”no, how can I go on T and risk my voice? ” and the next I feel like “Holy shit I need to get on T, I’ll still be able to sing.” And honestly I have no idea what to do. My mind is boggled and I’m trying not to think about it but it keeps coming up.

If there are any transgender singers out there… please please please reblog or email me… feverpitch381@aol.com

Also if there is anyone that knows someone that knows more about singing on T then please contact me…

Important Youtube video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5wi2vgLFjg

L.A. Woman

This is probably one of the coolest records I own. L.A. Woman by The Doors with the Die cut cover. The yellow sheet is VERY rare and that's what makes people buy this record. I got it for $30. I just recently saw the same vinyl on ebay, used, (someone bought it by now... checked again) for $200. So I got something cool. It's in perfect condition. It is the first pressing of L.A. woman.

My Records + Record Store Day

This is my set up. I have the Numark PT-01 Portable Turntable. It sounds beast through my stage speakers.





I got this Led Zeppelin ll LP today for free.







T.Rex - Electric Tracks
I actually got this 6 days before Record Store Day. I saw it in the shop and the owner said I could buy it now, as long as I didn't tell anyone where I got it from. Only 200 were made. I have #173.

Record Store Day & More

These are all the records my mom bought. Most of them came out today. The Bruce Springsteen LP's are VERY rare.

Transitioning

Lately transitioning has not been so great. I feel like I have hit a dead end. I just got my name changed, and yes I've been waiting for that forever but it isn't helping with the dysphoria aspect of my transition so much. I want to move on, I want to be completely male. My body should match my mind. Everyday when I take my binder off, or I jump in the shower I am reminded of how my body is really female. In my head I'm completely male, when I walk around the hallways at school, or on the streets, I am male. I am male when I am sleeping. I am male while I'm eating dinner. I'm male on stage. I am male everywhere. I'm male. My body just isn't male, and when the time comes for a shower, or when I must take off my binder, or change clothes, I realize it, and it scares the shit out of me.

So I'm not quite sure what all my options are at this point. But I do no that if I am 100% ready to go on testosterone I can do it, I got mom's support on that one. I've been thinking about it for months, but the whole idea of possibly not being able to sing again scares me a little bit. Sometimes I'm totally for it, and I go all day thinking "I'm gonna be on T in August", and then I play that nights' gig, and someone comes up to me and says something like "You have an amazing voice" and it sets me back. It makes me think, oh shit, do I really want to risk that? What if no one ever says that to me again? Is it worth it? Can I survive my life without going on T?

I was thinking about asking my Mom if I could get top surgery. My original plan was to ask her this December. I told myself around filming Larry King last year (August) that if I think every single day for over a year that I can get top surgery at any moment of the day without ever second guessing myself I would ask her. Well, there hasn't been a day of second guessing. I'm more then ready to do it. I think I'm going to ask her soon... very soon. Perhaps next week. Last night I was itching to ask her. I had asked my gender therapist when I was able to get Top Surgery. NYS law requires transgender people to go to therapy, dressing in their gender for an entire year. I've been going since late June. I'm almost there. Maybe I can get my surgery before school starts. Life would suddenly become so much easier. No more binding, I can play shows without having to worry about not binding, or breathing. I can change for gym so much faster. Not have to worry about my ribs getting messed up. No more back pain or rib pain. None of that. I can go to the beach, I would finally have the guts to go in my cousins swimming pool. I could wear tighter shirts. Hell, I could play on stage with an open vest. That's hot. I want that. More than anything I need to transition soon. I gotta start now.

My Intro

"I never thought that messing around with my brothers guitar at the age of seven would lead to all this. The gigging, the singing, the songwriting, and the passion. Now here I am, not even a decade later, as a guitarist, a pianist, a vocalist, and a songwriter. I'm Ryan Cassata, and i'm living my dream." - Ryan Cassata

Ryan Cassata, is a 16 year old, singer-songwriter from Long Island, New York. Ryan plays guitar, piano, harmonica, and vocals. At the young age of 14, Ryan began to gig on Long Island. Now only two years later he has played over 100 shows and has already completed a Florida tour, and a New England tour, titled the "Love Around The World Tour."

Ryan Cassata is the composer of the soundtrack for "Loop Planes", an independent film about a transgendered teen and his relationships. Loop Planes appeared in the South By Southwest (SXSW) film and music festival (2010) and also appeared in the Tribeca Film festival. (2010)

Ryan Cassata also appeared on The Larry King Live Show (2009) and the Tyra Banks Show (2010) for being transgender himself. Aside from being a musician Ryan is a strong advocate for the Transgender community. He has taught at many schools on Long Island, and even made it up to Albany to talk to New York State Officials. Ryan appeared in Hamptons Bay Magazine (2008), and Go Magazine (2008), for his hard work and advocacy. He also appeared in Bay Shore High Schools' "Maroon Echo" twice for his advocacy along with his musical achievements.

Ryan Cassata writes very passionate lyrics. His words are very positive and inspirational to this generation of people. Ryan Cassata hopes to spread this positivity across the country, and around the world, in hopes to make people smile and catch on to kindness.

Ryan Cassata is doing much more than the average 16 year old. He demands change, he demands revolution, and... he demands PEACE.